We travel not for trafficking alone:
By hotter winds our fiery hearts are fanned:
For lust of knowing what should not be known
We make the Golden Journey to Samarkand
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Nazi Moon of Ice

The moon is made of ice. That was the revolutionary message that came to Austrian weirdo Hans Horbiger in 1894. Not wanting to be seen as ridiculous, he embarked on some detailed looking and concluded that it was definitely made of ice, and the stars were also made of ice. He cunningly noted how shiny they were and frankly it's hard to reach any other kind of conclusion. After a few more years of thinking, and looking at the moon, Horbiger decided that the Earth definitely sucked the ice moons into orbit and they eventually collided - thus explaining the biblical flood and the disappearance of Atlantis. Then the earth is left moonless until it finds another ice moon to pull in. He'd certainly spent a lot of time working it all out. It even had a proper name: Glacial Cosmogeny or Welteislehre ( World Ice Theory ). Well done Hans.

Who would believe this kind of thing? None other than a certain German chancellor named Adolf. Yes, Hitler was also convinced that the moon was made of ice and made it official Nazi policy to believe it. It was better, he thought, than believing the more advanced theories of Jewish scientists, or crazy sympathisers like Einstein. He also suggested that the rather chilly spell in the early 1940s was also the result of that darn icy moon. I suppose in context it was actually one of the less ridiculous beliefs held within the Third Reich, though a survey apparently suggested that even by the mid 1950s over a million people still believed in Glacial Cosmogeny. Just shows, scientists are often wrong and fascists, always.

Monday, 24 March 2008

Last one out, turn off the light

Had a bad Easter? Hate your job? Think that mankind's problems are insurmountable? Then why not join a campaign for voluntary human extinction. Actually, not a joke. The folks over at the 'Voluntary Human Extinction Movement' are entirely serious, and suggest that voluntary human extinction is the best, most efficient way to tackle human disasters. Their motto is "May we live long and die out". Hmm. Their abbreviation is 'VHEMt', which bizarrely they manage to pronounce 'vehement'. Don't worry though, they're not so vehement as to want to eradicate our species with lasers or disease - they just want people to volunteer not to have any children. And then wait. If you weren't intending to have any anyway, good for you - but perhaps consider joining just to boost their numbers. If you've already produced, don't worry, just convince your offspring that you don't want any grandkids. No doubt by this point you will clamouring for further details - the conferences, the t-shirts, the support groups. Look no further:
http://www.vhemt.org/

Thursday, 20 March 2008

"Mounted Ape from Hell"

I love this picture. The thought of a monkey riding a dog slaughtering 14 people changes the way I see the world. Especially a monkey called Terrence. I want to know - who gave him the sword and hat? Surely they are to blame for this butchery.