Let's have a werewolf hunt

In the Burgundy region of France, 1573, a court issued an official authorisation to anyone fancying a werewolf hunt:

"According to the advertisement made to the sovereign Court of Parliament at Dole, that, in the territories of Espagny, Salvange, Courchapon, and the neighbouring villages, has often been seen and met, for some time past, a were-wolf, who, it is said, has already seized and carried off several little children, so that they have not been seen since, and since he has attacked and done injury in the country to some horsemen, who kept him of only with great difficulty and danger to their persons: the said Court, desiring to prevent any greater danger, has permitted, and does permit, those who are abiding or dwelling in the said places and others, notwithstanding all edicts concerning the chase, to assemble with pikes, halberts, arquebuses, and sticks, to chase and to pursue the said were-wolf in every place where they may find or seize him; to tie and to kill, without incurring any pains or penalties. . . . Given at the meeting of the said Court, on the thirteenth day of the month September, 1573."

This rather extreme call-to-arms was in response to a certain hermit, Gilles Garnier, who had been killing and eating local children. Rumours suggested he had done this many times, and villagers claimed he often preferred to walk on all fours. After the above authorisation was made, he was caught quite literally red-handed after making another kill. When put on trial, Gilles claimed that he had been given an ointment by a man in the forest (classic defence), and this gave him the form of a wolf. He said this was essential, as the new powers made hunting easier and therefore he could feed himself and his wife. Gilles clearly believed he had been a wolf throughout the killings, and detailed many children whom he had devoured in this way. He admitted every charge against him, was found guilty ofthe rare charge of 'lycanthropy' (basically being a werewolf) and burnt to death.

From little acorns...

Here are a few photos of kids that grew up to be famous. Some are easy to guess, others a bit trickier.



























OK?
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Manson, the Queen;
Bjork, Gandhi, Einstein;
Hitler, Eminem, Elvis.

Nazi Moon of Ice

The moon is made of ice. That was the revolutionary message that came to Austrian weirdo Hans Horbiger in 1894. Not wanting to be seen as ridiculous, he embarked on some detailed looking and concluded that it was definitely made of ice, and the stars were also made of ice. He cunningly noted how shiny they were and frankly it's hard to reach any other kind of conclusion. After a few more years of thinking, and looking at the moon, Horbiger decided that the Earth definitely sucked the ice moons into orbit and they eventually collided - thus explaining the biblical flood and the disappearance of Atlantis. Then the earth is left moonless until it finds another ice moon to pull in. He'd certainly spent a lot of time working it all out. It even had a proper name: Glacial Cosmogeny or Welteislehre ( World Ice Theory ). Well done Hans.

Who would believe this kind of thing? None other than a certain German chancellor named Adolf. Yes, Hitler was also convinced that the moon was made of ice and made it official Nazi policy to believe it. It was better, he thought, than believing the more advanced theories of Jewish scientists, or crazy sympathisers like Einstein. He also suggested that the rather chilly spell in the early 1940s was also the result of that darn icy moon. I suppose in context it was actually one of the less ridiculous beliefs held within the Third Reich, though a survey apparently suggested that even by the mid 1950s over a million people still believed in Glacial Cosmogeny. Just shows, scientists are often wrong and fascists, always.

Last one out, turn off the light

Had a bad Easter? Hate your job? Think that mankind's problems are insurmountable? Then why not join a campaign for voluntary human extinction. Actually, not a joke. The folks over at the 'Voluntary Human Extinction Movement' are entirely serious, and suggest that voluntary human extinction is the best, most efficient way to tackle human disasters. Their motto is "May we live long and die out". Hmm. Their abbreviation is 'VHEMt', which bizarrely they manage to pronounce 'vehement'. Don't worry though, they're not so vehement as to want to eradicate our species with lasers or disease - they just want people to volunteer not to have any children. And then wait. If you weren't intending to have any anyway, good for you - but perhaps consider joining just to boost their numbers. If you've already produced, don't worry, just convince your offspring that you don't want any grandkids. No doubt by this point you will clamouring for further details - the conferences, the t-shirts, the support groups. Look no further:
http://www.vhemt.org/

Bad elephant

Mary the Elephant was a kindly, law-abiding elephant - a performer in the Spark's Circus at the turn of the 20th Century. Unfortunately in 1916 her keeper, a Mr Red Eldridge, poked Mary behind the ear while she was trying to eat watermelon. Understandably Mary became enraged, threw him against a drink stand and stomped on his head. The locals were horrified and other nearby towns vowed never to allow the circus in if Mary the Killer Elephant was around. At this point Charlie Sparks, circus owner, realised that he had to take drastic action. What do you do with a bad elephant? Hang it of course. In front of a crowd of bloodthirsty townsfolk, Mary was chained by her neck to an industrial crane and lifted off the ground. The first attempt failed when the chain snapped, breaking her hip and annoying her. The second attempt worked, and after a few minutes Mary had met her maker. She was buried nearby and became the first and possibly the last elephant to be lynched.

And in a brief round-up of other bad elephant history... in 1826 Chunee was executed in London with 152 musket rounds and a sword, and in 1903 Topsy (pictured) was electrocuted by none other than Thomas Eddison himself. The video's on Youtube.

Hmm. Surprising the number of ways you can execute an elephant.

"Mounted Ape from Hell"

I love this picture. The thought of a monkey riding a dog slaughtering 14 people changes the way I see the world. Especially a monkey called Terrence. I want to know - who gave him the sword and hat? Surely they are to blame for this butchery.

Every dog has its day

This little guy, 'Whiskey', was the last of an extinct breed of dog called the Turnspit. As you could probably gather, the sole purpose of Whiskey and his friends was to turn spits. They were trained to trot along inside a wooden dogwheel which was rigged up to the spit over a fire. Apparently they were normally kept in pairs, so each mutt could take turns. Hence the expression 'every dog has its day'. Honestly. In the 'English Dog Book' of 1576 the Turnespete dog was described as having "a suspicious, unhappy look" about them. Funny that. Here's to Whiskey and all the meat he turned. Good on you, you scruffy little beggar.